so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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