I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
