kristin has been a bad kristin
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
