I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
