he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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