now i know why i became what i already was.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
