ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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