You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
