To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
