Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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