I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
