i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
