There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
