Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Randomize
