I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
