census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
