I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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