Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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