It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
