i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Randomize
