If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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