Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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