I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
