I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
