I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
