I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
