So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
