Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
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