Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
