I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
