Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
