I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
do herpes really smell.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
