i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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