this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
