yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
