I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
