Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
