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• (303): View more from Colorado

  The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now

  (1-484): View more from Pennsylvania

  sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  :)

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid

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• (845): View more from New York

  Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.

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• (941): View more from Florida

  You know i'm the father figure

  (1-941): View more from Florida

  Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad

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• (718): View more from New York

  Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital

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• (714): View more from California

  I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?

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• (512): View more from Texas

  There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.

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• (845): View more from New York

  I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.

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• (845): View more from New York

  You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.

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• (212): View more from New York

  he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.

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• (607): View more from New York

  She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.

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