HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Sext me about skeletons
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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