y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
How's work?
Spinning.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
