I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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