Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
