I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
