I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
