what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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