You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just want to make out with him forever
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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