He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
