He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
