cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
