A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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